This post is dedicated to my brother-in-law, who claims, that everyday, he checks this site for new updates. I can’t wait to see how long it takes for him to mention this to me.

Think about a glass of wine.

Remember the list of errands you need to run.

Think about where the liquor store is in relation to the list of errands.

Remember it’s Monday, and you don’t drink during the week.

Think about the single can of beer in the fridge.

Remember how pathetic you’ll feel if you drink the single can of beer in the fridge.

Remember you still have to fix dinner when you get home.

Think about a glass of wine.

• 1 lb chicken breast
• 1 bag raw spinach
• 1 pkg spinach gnocchi
• 2/3 cup chicken stock
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tbsp basil pesto
• 1 small yellow onion, diced
• salt + pepper

Set out a sheet of wax paper, lay out chicken breast, cover with another sheet of wax paper. Smash chicken breast til it’s flatter than it was before.

Wonder if the chicken smells turn’t or if your trash is stinky.

Remember that trash is always stinky.

Wash your hands.

Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, drizzle olive oil on chicken, salt + pepper chicken.

Wash your hands again. Use a disinfectant cloth to wipe down the salt and pepper grinders.

Preheat oven to 375. Think about the can of beer in the fridge. Get out a pot & fill with water. Realize the pot is too small for gnocchi. Dump out the water.

Get another, bigger pot, and fill with water. Add salt. Bring to a boil.

Be startled by the preheat done noise from the oven. Bake chicken for 30-35 minutes. Consider a glass of wine. Think about how you wish you had a dishwasher.

Plop the gnocchi into the pot of boiling water, making a scorched mess on the stove top. Cook 5-7 minutes, until they “float.” Drain. Set aside. Consider putting them in the fridge to cool so you have an excuse to grab the single can of beer sitting in the fridge door.

Saute diced onion in oil in a large skillet. Add garlic. Become emotionally tapped out from cooking dinner. Consider walking away. Pile your dirty dishes in the sink and wipe the streak of drool from the corner of your mouth when you imagine the taste of beer.

Take out chicken from oven, dice or shred. Add gnocchi to skillet. Toss around. Get excited that you can get into bed soon. Add chicken. Toss around.

Wrestle the package of spinach into the skillet and methodically and mindlessly fold and stir and swish and toss until it wilts to a size that will fit in the skillet. Add stock, heavy cream, more salt + pepper.

Dump more dishes into the sink. Spray them down with hot water. Think about the dozens of tasks on your work desk the next morning. Remember that you forgot to feed the dog. Take out the trash because it stinks and what kind of pathetic human are you to have stinky trash in your house? Pick up your husbands shoes from in front of the door so you can open it to take the trash out. Feed the dog. Wipe down the counter and stove top where you scorched some water and cream. Think about making a cup of tea so you can prove you’re not an alcoholic dependent swamp demon.

Smell the gnocchi burning. Crack open the single can of beer.